The Recruit should have opted for the jail sentence

by Peter Fiorilla

Fun factor: Boring

Worth to: Avoid

C.O.P. represents portable gaming at its worst, where a gameplay style originating on home platforms is shoddily shoehorned onto a handheld system.

As a nattering nabob of negativity, I delight in finding fault with the latest critical hit, but Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars had me spluttering praises across the internet for months after its DS release. It sparked fervor and immediate interest in any game somewhat related, whether it be by style, name or genre.

Cue C.O.P.: The Recruit, what the box claims is the “first 3D open world on the DS.” A game in the vein of the popular behind-the-shoulder Grand Theft Autos, this is Ubisoft’s latest attempt at defending their DS market share. Despite the ambitious undertaking of developing a sandbox game on the DS -- or perhaps because of it -- this is a game that leaves much to be desired.



In terms of concept, it represents portable gaming at its worst, where a gameplay style originating on home platforms is shoddily shoehorned onto a handheld system. In terms of execution, it can seem very proficient, and the universal attention to detail is very good. The quality of C.O.P. is somewhere in-between horridness and decency, then, which makes it a very tough purchase as we near the Winter Holidays.

I’ll frag you, then Gran Borrow your Auto

New York has been re-created wonderfully -- the world of C.O.P. has a sort of visual polish most 3D DS games lack -- but the impressive budget clearly did not extent to narrative-related graphics. This can be assumed in the game’s opening cutscene, a rushed series of pixilated artwork that does not even bother to explain the game’s premise. Apparently, a road-raging punk of the streets is offered an ultimatum by the New York Police: help the state “save the city” or be treated like a common blue collar criminal. Young Dan Miles accepts, and is welcomed into the NYPD without further ado.

The malefic Miles holds loyalties to the gangs and government of New York, exploiting old and new contacts in order to clean up New York. Neither party seems to suspect conflicting loyalties, but if they did, they would probably react by giving him the cold shoulder or not holding the door open for him at lunch. In every aspect of the game, it is clear C.O.P. was created with the DS’ more squeamish demographics in mind -- criminals use lame substitutes for expletives (“frag me”), it is impossible to damage pedestrians and the lack of blood is somewhat disappointing. This family-friendly coat of paint will appeal to varying people of all ages, but turn off others.

Aside from the absence of excessive violence, it is the standard gangs n’ terrorists tale, with formulaic villains killing fellow antagonists and innocents alike in the name of ambition. There are no shocking twists or revelations, no deep dialogue or meaningful conversations. And while not every narrative needs to be a comment on society or mature work of art, C.O.P. fails in its jabs at humor more than it does at getting the player to emote.



The most prevalent issue is not that the story of Dan Miles is particularly poorly written, though some aspects -- such as the fleeting love interest -- are painful to read, and a few of the major plot points are nothing short of ridiculous. It is ultimately the presentation of the mediocre narrative that makes it the torturous read it is. Plain text is displayed on boring dialogue boxes, making Miles’ witticisms fall flat. The 3D character models have blank faces and lack character portraits, making it more difficult to connect with the characters. Due to both of these issues, character emotion and personality is tough to discern, and makes the storytelling feel outdated.

The car wreck that is action

When Miles is in action, C.O.P. fares a bit better than when he is trying to make his colleagues laugh, but not much. Most of the game revolves around driving around New York, and while it is an enormous arena in which to play, that seemingly positive aspect of the game quickly becomes a nightmarish negative.

Missions are located all over the city, and driving from one spot to another becomes dreadfully banal rather quickly. Some missions’ objectives are very poorly designed and revolve around driving around the city’s entire length. To top it off, chase missions are rather cheap and silly, as it is impossible to predict when cars will turn and responding to these turns is nigh impossible on the first try.

There is no sense of speed to driving, and when your car collides with another, an unsatisfactory thud and odd physics pushing your car back make the driving sections feel poorly done. The lack of visible car damage is another con; cars have health bars that go down with each crash. Health bars for cars? What year are we in, again?

When it is time to step out of the car and blast some baddies, C.O.P. is at its pinnacle. Stylus-driven gunplay is initially mildly enjoyable and there is a varied arsenal of weapons to choose from. Alas, even this aspect of the game is plagued with issues. Enemies lack hit detection and AI, and thought out level design is nonexistent. The controls are not nearly sensitive enough, so cheap deaths occur once in awhile.



Missions are varied, at least, but much of the variation feels unnecessary and comes across as a half-hearted attempt at extending the game’s life; taking pictures of buildings, for example, gets old after a few times. I would much rather have the option to shoot while driving than the ability to show-off my amateurish photography.

The soundtrack only plays during missions, but it would have been better if there was none at all. There are a couple decent tracks, but generally the songs are short, repetitious and annoying. The roars of car engines grate on the nerves after a few hours of playtime.

Summary

This is a game, then, that was sent out to die because of its own ambition. It runs at a steady 60 frames-per-second and has a decent amount of content, but compared to either home console games of its kind or portable ones, C.O.P. oozes mediocrity in every conceivable way. That impressive amount of content will not be exploited by many -- putting up with C.O.P.’s flaws is not worth doing for more than a few hours, if that. Ubisoft should be commended for developing and publishing a game better than its other products, but the company still has not proven they are an asset to DS owners.